Sunday, August 24, 2008

August '08 Movie Reviews

As many of you know my birthday was this past weekend and for my birthday each year, I ask for one day at the movies... How that works, since we live in an area that only shows movies for parts of the day is: 12 hours (Noon-Midnight) in August and another 12 hours in February (my half birthday and in time to see Oscar Best Picture pics at the theater)... Thus Thursday I viewed five films, which were chosen to be different and having somewhat good ratings:

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor... Two major problems: 1) Did not return the complete cast from the previous two films and 2) Could not decide what kind of film they wanted to be!! Not returning the complete cast happens all the time but at least write the character off (i.e. make her the step-mom that the son hates), don't try and pass a brand-new actress with a similar accent and voice for the part (though I am actually a fan of Maria Bello, this role should have been passed up just like Rachel Weisz (the original Evelyn) did stating: "different interests with the screenplay", yeah, it was awful)... Finally, if you are going to use cheesy humor and stupid kid jokes, then pull the language and scary monsters OR keep the special effects (which were good) but loose the horrible writing!!

Get Smart… I’m still trying to decide if I really loved this movie or if the previous movie (the mummy) was just that bad!! Steve Carell is always hilarious and Anne Hathaway totally played her role to a ‘t’, The Rock, excuse me, Dwayne Johnson, still can’t act but he’s getting so much better… I can’t remember the last time I literally had to look away from a scene in order to breathe because I was laughing so hard (but the airplane bathroom scene was it for me)!! I think if you liked the TV series (and yes, I did watch it as a kid, but it was a re-run at that point on Nick at Nite) and you like Steve Carell’s brand of humor, you will love this movie!!

X-Files: I want to Believe… Not sure why I decided to go to this movie, since I have never seen one episode of the TV show, probably because I heard from many that it was a stand along film…they lied!! Though there was a self sustaining plot, there had to be more emotion and impact behind a lot of the dialogue and characters if you had been a fan of the TV show (if there wasn’t then it was awful cinematography)… Over all the story was somewhat of a mystery, but for all the hype I’ve heard growing up at X-Files, I expected so much more crazy ‘what the’ scenes and story line that just wasn’t there!!

Hancock… Completely impressed me!! Now, I will say after seeing the first trailer many moons ago, I had no desire to watch this movie (ex. Trailer one: a new powerful superhero who doesn’t give a rip…not appealing), however, then I saw a different trailer (Trailer two: a new powerful superhero that is now losing his powers and is going to die… much more appealing) thus I went to see it… I guess, I felt the script was a new idea that I, at least, haven’t seen on the silver screen before (and that’s saying something ) and though I don’t want to admit this Will Smith did a fabulous job (But Potter…He’s still not the “greatest actor of our generation”)!! Also, for the first time, I thought Charlize Theron was very attractive and Jason Bateman seemed like a good dude… Definitely rent this movie in a few months though (But don’t let the PG-13 fool ya, like all Will Smith PG-13’s, it’s filled with bad language that somehow slips by the MPAA)!!

The Incredible Hulk… If there goal was to “re-boot” the series, mission accomplished!! However, I don’t think it was Edward Norton (though he is the best actor listed in this list that follows) over Eric Bana or Liv Tyler over Jennifer Connelly or William Hurt over Sam Elliot, etc. and so forth but flat out a better script and story… Honestly, could have done with someone other than Tim Roth (nothing against you Tim, I still hold you close to my heart Mr. Orange), he just was too tiny for his character much like Mr. Norton (I understand that’s what they were getting at, but come on!)… Thus, in the end, I can’t wait to go see the next one, especially if it’s going to include Iron Man or “The first avenger: Captain America (nice editing work Marvel)!!

Hey… Stop reading this and go to the movies!!

Side note: The evening before the movie-thon I and some others watched ‘Street Kings’ starring Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker… and Sucre (Amaury Nolasco)! I didn’t know anything about this film other than it sounded cool (not sure how I missed it in the theaters) and it was very great!! It wasn’t ‘Training Day’ (what is, really?) but far better than David Ayer’s last one ‘Harsh Times’ (obviously nothing against you Mr. Wayne…Christian Bale)… If you like dark action/drama films (or also know as reality) it’s worth every penny of a rental!!

So really… Stop reading this and go to the movies!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Friday, August 01, 2008

Yes! He is that tough...

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-In conversation, Chuck Norris often quotes himself, and then laughs about it.

-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

-When Superman goes to bed he wears Chuck Norris Pajamas