Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Do you think you're beautiful!?

Several years ago Dove (yes, the soap) started a campaign called "Real Beauty" in which they wanted to point out the problems in our culture in the way we view 'beauty' and communicate that everyone is beautiful in their own way.  Though I'm not trying to sell you Dove products (and no, I do not own stock) or saying their company does everything right, I love this campaign and the videos they have made to address it.  One of their newest is called "Beauty Sketches" and is getting a lot of traffic this week via social media and I wanted to ask if you'd watch it with me (posted below)?

Watch the full 7-minute version here

What about you?  How do you feel about yourself?  Do you think you are Beautiful?

I'm unsure of what you thought of this video but for me it strikes my core (like yes, I cried watching this).  No... I'm not a girl and though that seemed to be the audience for this video, it still got to me.  I'm a man with a calling to love people (students to be even more specific) and there's nothing that tears my heart more than seeing kids beat up emotionally (and physically) by culture, their peers and even themselves.  Thus, telling teens that they are special and loved (often I use "Awesome") is one of my most favorite things to do in the whole world!!

There are lots of reasons we get down on ourselves... What is your reason?
- Bad relationship with your Mom/Dad growing up?
- Did you have a rough middle school experience?
- Has the divorce caused you to think you are unlovable?
- Are you ashamed of some past 'sin' that makes you feel ugly?
- Do you just not feel as "successful" as the family next door?

Let me shift for a second and talk about our kids:
Did you know that 1 out of 3 girls are sexually abused before they reach 18 (1 out of 6 for boys)?  Did you know that it raises to 2 out of 3 girls if you throw in their freshmen year of college?  Let that sink in...

With all of what we talked about in our own lives and then echoed with our own children... No wonder we feel "ugly"!!  No wonder we search for affection and love "in all the wrong places"!!  No wonder really bad things are happening in our culture and schools every day!!

BUT there's Good News... There's Hope!!
In a love letter written by a boy named Solomon he states: "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no blemish in you."  This is the same way Jesus sees you!!  That was too fast... Go back and read that again!!  In Genesis Moses states that God thinks you're"very good"... In Zephaniah it states that the Lord "delights in you", as well as rejoicing and singing over you!!

I love the saying pictured below...

God is so in love with you AND HE LIKES YOU!!!  If you've grown up in the "Bible Belt" you've probably been told that God loves you more times than you can count but did you know that God likes you!!  He loves hearing from you, spending time with you, watching you, holding you!!  God is crazy about you because you are exactly the way He created you... BEAUTIFUL!!

May you feel His love a little more today... May we pass that love on to others... May Jesus become as precious to you as you are to Him... May our kids know that we not only love them but like them... May the Spirit prompt us in taking opportunities to tell others how beautiful they are... May you rest in the loving arms of the Creator today... May you believe!!

Click on the links below to see more of Dove's Real Beauty Campaign videos:
Camera Shy (showing how as we get older we become ashamed)
Self-Esteem (showing the way we tear ourselves down)
Onslaught (showing the assault from media & culture on our kids)
Will Quit (showing the effects of how we feel has on our activities)
Evolution (showing how far photoshop takes modeling)





**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!
**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: FacebookTwitter & Instagram

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Cell Phone & Social Media 101

This week I was bombarded with, for lack of a better word, TONS of articles regarding cell-phones and social networks... Though these are two topics we have covered before (10 Apps You Should Be Aware of & Darn Technology Distracting Us from Each other) with the amount of articles posted this week I thought I would do a brief Cellphone & Social Media 101!!  

Cell Phone 101Technology is neutral... It by itself is not bad or good!

Texting
-       “The average teenager texts 4,000 texts a month” (Group Publishing)
-    "78% of all teens have a cell phone" (Just over half are smart phones)
-       “31% of teen phone users deflect conversations by faking calls” (Denver Post)
-       As of 2011, AT&T was the only company who would print out text messages upon request.  However, because of the 2006 Consumer Telephone Records Protection Act parents can get a print out of your son/daughter’s phone if court ordered.
-       “Over half of 11 to 14 year olds say they have been in a dating relationship…But dating to tweens isn’t what adults think: relationships are fleeting but all consuming” “Tweens date in packs but expect their boyfriend/girlfriend to be monogamous…firing over 300 texts back and forth each day…breaking up is most commonly done via a text” (Homeword)

Sexting
-       Sext messages created by minors = child pornography.  Taking nude, sexually explicit, pictures of a minor, even if it is of yourself, is a felony and then sending those pictures to others is a second felony.  All recipients of that sext message can also be found guilty of a felony (even if they didn't want to receive it) because it is possession of child pornography.  Being convicted of possession or distribution of child pornography can get you on a sex offender list which will stay with you for LIFE and affect your ability to live where you want to, getting into college and getting a job. 
-      “39% of all teens have sent a sexually suggestive text” (Parents Guide...Cell Phones)
-       “48% of teens say they have received such messages" (sexually suggestive or nude)

Apps & Internet accessibility (2013, Apple announced 60,000,000,000 apps downloaded)
-       Top ‘Apps’ (Applications):
o   Social Media: Facebook (#1 Free app), Twitter, Instagram, Vine, etc.
o   Streaming: Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, etc.
o   Games: Candy Crush Saga, Flappy Bird, Clash of Clans, Bike Race, etc.
- Angry Birds (most profitable game ever…downloaded over 2 billion times)
o   Very Concerned: Omegle, SnapChat, Whisper, Kik, Tinder, etc. (Click here for more)

5 Tips for Managing Cell Phone Usage with Your Teen:
-       Talk together as a family about when it is or isn't appropriate to use the cell phone (no cell phone after 9pm, no cell phone until your homework is completed, etc.)
-       Make your child responsible of the phone and helping out with the bill (All of it, some of it, just the texting, chores for it, etc.).  Go over the bill with them.
o   Pre-pay or pay as you go, Like Kajeet
-       Take it away if they are failing in school or not following through with rules you set! Let them have it back when they show progress!
o   Agree on a “Phone Contract”, See: Should I SMASH My Kid’s Phone
-       Have a “charging station” or centralized location for all cell-phones (and ipods).  Have mandatory charging times during family times, dinner, bedtime, etc.
-       Be the example of healthy cell phone use.  Show them what you want to see in regards to how, when and where to use your cell phone.  If you have it out at dinner they will!

Parental Controls
-       AT&T, SprintVerizon & T-Mobile
-   "Bless them with blackouts... 
Set limits; you are the parent. There should be times of day, and especially night, when the internet, text messaging and other media is unaccessible. Your kids may complain, but it is a gift to give them downtime and remove the possibility of being connected." (Guard and Guide Your Children Online)
*Lots of cool ideas for Cellphone Safety


Social Media 101What the school & mall was to kids of the 60s-90s is what the Internet is to the millennial!
The Bigs 
-       Facebook (1,110,000,000 “Friends” as of March 2013)
-       Twitter (300 billion Tweets Sent as of October 2013)
-       Instagram (55 million Pictures shared each day)
-       Myspace (Making a comeback after essentially being purchased by Justin Timberlake)
*"88% of teens have seen someone be mean/cruel on a social networking site" (UKnowKids)

Top 3 Websites in the world…
-       Google (Around 13 Billion searches a month… Estimated to be worth over $270 billion)
-       Facebook (Around 45% of internet users visit facebook)
-       YouTube (Purchased by Google for $1.65 billion)
o   More than 1 billion unique users visit YouTube each month
o   YouTube reaches more U.S. Adults aged 18-34 than any cable network
o   100 Hours of video are uploaded every minute
o   Top Videos
- #1 most viewed: ‘Gangnam Style’ by PSY (1,915,156,692 views)
 First video uploaded “Me at the zoo”, April 23rd 2005 (13 million views)

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly…

-       Some say all this technology & media stimuli, creates a heightened awareness to culture & better ability to multi-task!!  (Everything Bad is Good for You’ by Johnson)

-       “Tweens that spend waking hours switching between social networks & texting are more likely to develop social problems” (Standford University: Dev. Psychology)
-       Signs of addiction (Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery):

o   Preoccupation with ______________
o   Increased use of ______________
o   Repeated, unsuccessful efforts to control ______________ use
o   Restlessness, moodiness, depression when cutting down on ______________
o   Online longer than originally intended
o   Jeopardized or risked loss of significant relationships
o   Lies to family members or others to conceal use of ______________
o   Use ______________ to escape and relive problems 
**Netaddiction.net 

Tips for Parents with Social Media…
-       Have an agreement in regards to knowing passwords and what networks they are in
-       Privacy Settings must be used (25% of Facebook users don’t bother)
-       Develop rules for what can and should be posted online (pictures, location, etc.)
-       Computer in a centralized location in the home (this is hard with iphones & laptops)
-       Discuss Online dangers (See: Wiredsafety.org and TheDemandProject.org)


 

“Most young adults are over-exposed to information earlier than ready and under-exposed to real life situations later than they were or should be ready” - Tim Elmore (Artificial Maturity)


3 Things we can do starting RIGHT NOW...
Be the example you want to see!!  
Discuss helpful boundaries!!
Empower them to make positive choices!!


Here's just TEN of the articles sent to me and/or posted this week (if interested):
Secret social media apps teens don't want you to know they are using





**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!
**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: FacebookTwitter & Instagram

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

An Unlikely Source of Wisdom

Did you see this video?  Did you hear what Ashton, I mean Chris Kutcher said?  Did you see the Teen Choice video?  Those were the questions that flooded my inbox this week in regards to an acceptance speech delivered during the 2013 Teen Choice Awards.

Now, given the audience that I think typically reads this blog, I'm assuming that most of you completely missed the Teen Choice Awards Sunday!!  As a Family Pastor focused on High School students and their families I don't always catch these events live but I do keep a pulse on them to know what's going on in youth culture.  This particular event boasted "150 million votes" and over hundreds of thousands of views on each of the videos they have post from the live performances.

So Jeff, why are you asking us about whether we watched the Teen Choice Awards!?  It all has to do with truth.  And though this specific person (Ashton Kutcher) didn't say "Jesus"... He did give some incredible wisdom to an audience that resembles, if not IS, our kids!!  Before I go on, please take 4 minutes and watch this video:

Can't view it? Try clicking on this link: Ashton Kutcher Acceptance Speech

Three things Chris learned before he became Ashton: Opportunity - Being Sexy - Living Life!!  

At first glance it seems like every other "Star"with the exception that he told us from a stage his real name and said he feels like a "fraud".  But that first insert should have been enough for us to listen a little deeper (something the teenage girls in the audience didn't pick up on)!  

As Chris/Ashton goes on he explains his three things:
- Opportunity looks a lot like work: "I didn't quit my job until I had another one"
- Being Sexy is actually being Smart... Thoughtful... Generous
- Don't live a life but build one

Ummm... WOW!!  This is NOT the typical message we get from Hollywood and honestly not even the message we have heard from the young actor in the past 10 years.  So what changed?  Why the sudden insight for his fans...is 100% Jesus?  I have no clue for him but I know what the ultimate answer is for all of us: The Gospel (Romans 6:23)!!

My encouragement this week, if you have teens or tweens, is to watch the video and talk about the message he shared.  What an incredible launching point for great conversation of having a point to this life.  What an even better opportunity to dig deeper and show our kids where such wisdom truly comes from... the Bible (Examples: Work Hard: Colossians 3:23, Be Smart: Proverbs 19:20, Build a Life: John 10:10)!!  If you do not have tweens or teens, what did you think of his advice?  Did you connect with any of his points?  What can you glean this week from those three truths?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

When paths collide...

For more than a decade now I've been in full-time ministry, specifically, working with teenagers!!  
I know, I know for some of you this sounds more like a disease or at minimum a disorder...we're not ruling that out quite yet!!  But truthfully, when you've seen what I've seen, life-change among young men and women, you can't help but want it for more students!!  

One example that comes to mind is Taylor (Whom we refer to as T-Doe)... When I met him he was a little 8th grader moving into his 9th grade year at a big new school across town!!  I remember having him, and a few others, in an early morning bible study each week.  We would joke around, eat some donuts and if we were lucky, maybe even get around to talking about Jesus before I took them to school (because they were not old enough to drive themselves yet).  Over the years he began to get extremely passionate about the service projects we did and the need to "share Jesus' love with everyone we met".  I'd like to say that his passion and focus was all me BUT Taylor has an amazing family who always supported him (and his brothers).  Over the years I watched as his mom and dad found ways to encourage this passion, from taking him to a local soup kitchen on weekends to even providing some finances when he had a "big idea": Serve-a-thon (which still happens every Spring Break in Oklahoma)!!  

Taylor got "Faith Mission" and his family understood that this was an important step of his "Faith Map"  (before we even had names for these things)!!  But that's not the point of today's post... Last week Taylor decided to invite others into a project he has been doing over the past handful of years (See video below).


With this short video he began to ignite the flames for others among a new generation!!  So with the challenge accepted two of our guys D-Groups from NBHighSchool took over South Tulsa invading grocery stores, gas stations and fast food restaurants delivering Valentine's to ladies working.  
They used their own money and purchased cards, candy and even roses to hand deliver and share a little of Christ's love!!  The stories are amazing and smiles, tears and hugs they received will live on for a long time.

I wish we had video but getting them to smile and take the picture was already a big ask!!


For me, this is the sweet spot of my job... Not every teenager or young adult is consumed with self or even walking around entitled.  Not that Taylor is perfect but he is following the example he saw in Scripture and through the support of his family and church he continues to change the world (literally)!!  To see old youth set the stage for new ones is so exciting to me!!  To know that many of the students pictured above have committed parents that are not only ready but are already engaged in the "Faith Map" with their teens, is why the future of New Beginnings and NBHighSchool is so exciting.  

However, the journey ahead isn't going to always be easy... We are going to have to work together (in prayer, service and support) to do what we have all been called to do: "to Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength...and our neighbor as ourselves" (Matthew 22:37-39)!!

What can you do TODAY to make someone's life better!? 





Below is the video Taylor and a friend did his very first year of doing the FFVD (Fast Food Valentine's Day)... Please check it out (at least watch the last 30 seconds)!!


*Want to hear more about Taylor's ministry... Click on this link: Reach Ministries
**If you just love seeing smiling faces... Here's the 2011 video and this years (2013 video)!!