Top 10 Moments of 2024 (and, as always, honorable mentions)

It's wild that every year I start out remembering I need to do this post but overwhelmed with the idea of putting it all back together YET... EVERY. TIME. I am absolutely thankful to relive so many memories and moments. Candidly, I even forget some of these that were so important yet time and life just moves forward. Thus, I guess if others are seeing this and appreciating it or not, I'm blessed beyond measure and need this time of reflection often to remember. Thank you, God!! 

So let's get into it...

Honorable Mentions:

*) Dallas Cowboys (I believe the Cowboys have made the list every year since I started this tradition of making a top 10 list... Why you ask, because I have been a fan my entire life and EVERY time I get the opportunity to go to a game... ESPECIALLY with my Dad AND MY SON, I'm reminded that all of it is so much more than a silly game, it's tradition, it's legacy. I don't know how much longer Dad is going to have season tickets but every year, I am reminded how special these times are... even if they (Dem Boyz) continue to hurt my heart - HA!).

*) Jock (Honestly, if you know me, this is a pretty strange one... Don't get me wrong, I do like dogs a lot and have even shed a tear or two over the years for my pets BUT I think this is the first time I have felt like one was part of our family. This stinkin' dog is just not normal! From how excited he gets to go on walks with me, to always needing to cuddle with whoever is near the couch, to only eating dinner when we do... it's truly weird and funny at the same time. I've never seen a dog have such a specific personality).

*) Weddings (Not sure why that is plural... Only officiated one wedding this year and it was so fun and special. Also had a range of emotions when I saw this picture, as I had accidentally grabbed my son's button-up shirt and didn't know until we were 30 minutes from ceremony time and a suit jacket that I hadn't worn since college. So ridiculous but still a blast to not only get to be invited to a wedding but the blessing of being in the best seat "in the house" as the minister for your little sister. So good.)!

Top 10 Moments of 2024:

10) Work (It's always nice when work makes it to the list, however, it's making the list this year not because everything is amazing but because it's been such an impactful item in the year of 2024. My first trip to Canada happened this year because of one of our clients, lots of transition has happened this year for all the folks I work with AND my oldest daughter even got to go with me on a super fun work trip which lead us to the Museum of Play in Rochester, NY! **Way more work news happening but will probably land on the 2025 calendar!).

9) Senior Pics... AGAIN!! (It's wild that last year, we were doing senior pics for our first child and I think at some point I forgot that the next kiddo was RIGHT BEHIND him. How did she get this old... I can't believe it and am so thrown back by the fact that I see so much of Courtney in her... she's so beautiful in countless ways!!).

8) Teenage Employment (Both big kids are now officially employed. The middle found a great job at Chick-fil-A and is really enjoying it. I have loved hearing her talk about their values and the reasons they do what they do. So many great things for teens to learn from getting a job, even if they're a straight 'A' student that plays HOURS of volleyball. Of course, the oldest has been mowing for years and even worked at two other businesses in the past but I believe his newest job will become an incredible career and love the fact that there's a photo that popped up in my wheelhouse of him working at Walmart!).

7) Kid's Sports (There were so many pictures to pick from to add here as both girls have school ball and club ball now in two different sports. The youngest has got back into soccer this year and not only made a great club team but also the freshmen team at BWHS. The middle has also decided to play her final season of club volleyball but also just wrapped her senior season at BWHS. However, the most exciting moment was her signing day, as she's been given a scholarship to play at MidAmerica Nazarene in Kansas!)

6) 1st Dances (Though the older two have been to several and even the youngest has been to the middle school dances... This year was the first HS Homecoming dance for the freshmen and she was BEAUTIFUL!! Yet, also a first, both bigs had High School Prom and though they went with others, we were able to snag this amazing pic of them both AND Papa John came over with his Rolls Royce SilverCloud III to take them... WHAT!!)

5) Board Games (Board games continues to make the list year after year and I hope it is something my kids pass on to theirs... We have had friends join us, grandparents and even dates but this core continues to crush games and as always: no matter what, the winner puts their name in the box!!)

4) Dates & Man Time (SO MANY to choose from and for that I am forever grateful! From jumping in the car last minute and going to a Battlehawks game with my son, to breakfast buffet with my oldest daughter and even visiting "Stars Hollow" with my youngest... we crushed some dates and man time this year. But SmashLab was a pretty epic fun night for all of us on Mom's birthday... You should see the video!!).

3) Family Roadtrips (With the most epic trip this summer, we have officially crossed off 49 or the 50 states. We were able to take a cruise in and around Alaska, docking to take some epic hikes and amazing crab. We road-tripped from the needle in Seattle, to the rose garden in Portland. Then from the Crater of the Moon, Inspiration Point and Old Faithful in Yellowstone... It was a trip of a lifetime for sure!! **And if you're wondering our 2025 is booked up all year for at least one of our crew, so we're making plans to finish out in Hawaii in 2026.) 

2) The Last Marble (How do you even start to write something about this as it has brought so many tears this past year. For over 15 years we have had three jars full of marbles in our entryway... each week we move one marble from each jar into the big vase. This year, we moved the final "blue" marble, our oldest's, into the vase. No, he's not dead!! But it has been a great reminder daily to cherish our moments before graduation. Of course, the last marble brought on graduation and now "move-in" day at college. Man, that big vase is beautiful and forever cherished!! **Recently been thinking of adding a marble BACK every time he comes home... what do you all think of that!?).

1) This Woman (I'm sure to many, this will seem cliche or even sappy but the truth is... 23+ years later I am literally MORE infatuated with this woman than the first day I met her. She is my rock in hard times, my excitement on most days, the person I think about anytime I have something to share and I can't wait to spend, God willing, our "older years" together. **Love doesn't feel like a strong enough word when I think of you baby.)!

The craziest part of this list is the fact that lately, I have been pretty down, yet when I can take a step back and see all the smiles, memories, and moments... I remember what all of this is really about. **God is good... ALL THE TIME!!**

**Past years: 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023!!

Top 10 Moments of 2017 (and, as always, honorable mentions)

With so much that has happened this year and even more happening RIGHT NOW... I'm both excited to post this and yet sad to realize it is only my third blog post in the past 12-months (there will be many more this coming year, get ready!)! 

In a nutshell, 2018 is going to be crazy!!  We have spent the entire year laying groundwork to finally launch the 'Modern Day Agoge' (Spartan Code's monthly training plan) THIS MONTH!!  Not to mention, I have started yet another new position, still within the Walmart family but new focus, AND yes with all that and the fact that my family is still my number one priority, it's going to be a bumpy ride.  

All that being said... Let's do a quick look back into the top 10 moments of 2017 (Reminder that not all moments are great but they are the biggest "moments" of the year).

Honorable Mentions:
*) Dallas Cowboys (This past season has been a big let down, however, last seasons' playoffs were also in 2017, so they balance out)!!

1-year... And starting!!

Well, we’re here… It’s been exactly one-year since we stepped away from all we ever knew as adults.  After 12+ years in full-time vocational ministry we knew we needed a season off (Click here to read the original post), but even then we had no clue how bad!!

 The long story short is we essentially uprooted our former life and rearranged it until we found our new normal.  So much has happened this year... Lots of highs with our little family and even more lows from all over.  We have all grown in ways we didn't know were needed or necessary.  We have lost a lot both emotionally and physically but in weird and interesting ways gained new things.  Like I said, that's the short story... Still want more!?  Then keep reading.

We have come a long way.  And honestly, I sat down to write so many times over the months.  Some of the posts I kept and maybe I'll post them at some point because I think they could be helpful to others.  But some of those posts just needed to be trashed (and were, everything does not always have to be said... new lesson for me)!

So if you're still reading let me take you back to the beginning.  As of August 1st 2014, I was a husband, father and man without a job for the first time, in maybe... ever!?  And let me tell you, the first month was amazing!!  With all that extra time (Court working full-time with a dynamite Adoption attorney and all three of the kids going to school, Click here for that first post) I started several things I had always wondered about but never jumped on:

Trying out to be a Police Officer (Oh yeah, fitness test, agility test, intelligence test, psych test, department interview, etc.).  With dozens of other applicants I was pretty concerned but some how made it through and sent off to C.L.E.E.T.  After graduation in April I started patrolling the evenings (11p-3a) with an FTO for my Field Training, which if I do my math right, I'll be done in 2024 (Kidding on the year but seriously it's 540 total hours, it takes awhile).  Recently, I decided to not pursue police work in a full-time capacity, which was definitely on the radar, but remain in a Reserve Officer capacity with the department.  I love being a part of the brotherhood we call "the thin blue line" (And being able to say: I'M BATMAN)!!

Starting my own LLC (Surge Leadership) and began speaking "full-time".  Though this was slower than I expected, we met a lot of new people and places I had never (to be honest) thought about.  We really thought '10 Things' was the direction people would want but in the end, by default, I was able to develop a fun assembly style message on Social Media.  It all started in a small school in western Oklahoma and then all of the sudden I was visiting places all over (Some I had heard of and others that I hadn't).  With a pretty full August and September, we are having fun with 'To #Selfie or Not to #Selfie'!  

Working with even more teens as a study hall supervisor and creating a new "thing" we called: the Leadership Coach.  In the end both were exactly what we needed to both fill some gaps in time each day but more importantly giving us more vision for the future.  Thus, I checked with the state board of education and found out that all I needed to do to get my teaching certificate was pass two tests (since I had only not completed my student teaching during my undergrad).  With that in my tool belt I began looking at new full-time options (University of Tulsa, Bixby Public Schools, etc.) but knew we were missing the bigger picture.

Through all three of these avenues I was able to gain new opportunities for learning, growing, ministry, and serving.  And looking back, each one was an absolute necessity in the steps towards the dream (the cool part is I still get to be involved in ALL of them).  This is a great spot to say that Courtney has stayed super busy with opportunity after opportunity to impact the lives of both children and families through adoption (literally hundreds this year).  The kids are all doing well and loving summer (Court & I are currently coaching all three different basketball teams right now) but ready to dive back into school and friends and activities and schedules.  The doctor said that Jackson will be taller than me when he gets older... Which I don't doubt but crazy that I have a 10-year old (The Agoge begins now)!!  Creighton is the fastest girl I know and continues to make me laugh because she just kicks the ball (in soccer) or throws the ball (in basketball) down the field/court and then just legs it out past everyone!!  Charleigh has gotten very picking about food, clothes and anything else but still loves cuddling with me and is always my first hug and kiss when I get home!!  

So here we are (If you're still with us)... And I'm so excited to tell you about what I have been working on for a very long time.  Though the original concept came out of a meeting years ago, it has evolved bigger and bigger each day.  As of today, Surge Leadership has just launched its newest arm called THE SPARTAN CODE.  At first glance it's a leadership curriculum that we implemented and saw work at Bixby High School over the past couple of years.  But as the description says: "The Spartan Code isn't just a curriculum for athletes, it's a way of life for leaders. You can't simply learn the code... You have to live it!!"  The Spartan Code is built around four leadership principles found from the ancient traditions of the most elite warriors to ever walk the planet... You guessed it, The Spartans!  We refer to those as "DISC" and they are the true 'Characteristics of being a Spartan'.  Within our curriculum we challenge student-athletes to not only develop personally but as team leaders.  We believe, because we have seen it work, the Spartan Code can literally change a student, then a team, then school and prayerfully a city, a state, a country and the world!!

So how will that happen with curriculum for student-atheltes?  I'm glad you asked...

Quick side-note (it's actually a huge note): We are not and will not be "all things to all people."  The Spartans were the best because of their strict selective process and extreme ethics (virtues, rules, feelings, etc.) they lived out, no matter the cost.  We will be doing the same.

• Phase One: Establish our name and see The Spartan Code used in multiple schools in our region (This will be done by not only selling shirts, stickers, posters and obviously curriculum but also coming alongside coaches to help develop leaders among their student-athletes and teams).

• Phase Two: Continue offering updated Spartan Code Workbooks to current schools, Implementing Online Training for coaches and expanding into new schools across the country (With contact and interest already made from schools on both coasts, as well as, training videos being story-boarded, this phase is only a matter of time).

• Phase Three: Publishing our first Book and launching our online Men's Training Course (Chapters are already being written, real-time stories are being collected and most importantly some foundational meetings have taken place for a sold publication to pick us up).

• Phase Four: This is a secret, at this time, but will be announced alongside phase three (I'm so stinkin' excited about this phase and what it could mean for men and our society).

• Phase Five: Publishing our Father-Son Edition Book (Though I cannot share all of the details, what is in current development has not been produced before and, I believe, will help father's raise men).

**There are more dreams on the board and ideas in the works beyond phase five but we believe this will keep us busy for the next couple years.  Our question now is... Will you join us!?  

There are several ways to help and I'd like to formally invite you to take part:

1. Visit our website: www.TheSpartanCode.com and 'Follow us' on Social Media (Facebook, Twitter & Instagram)!!
2. Tell your family/friends/school about the dream, the curriculum and the plan!!
3. Support us by purchasing something from the Store!!
4. Let us know your thoughts and share some words of encouragement!!

If you can't tell... We're really excited about the future not only in Bixby but in so many schools, towns and families to come!!  Thanks for taking this journey with us... I can't wait to update you along the way!!  (God is good... All the time)

10 Years and Counting...

Last Friday Courtney and I enjoyed our 10th wedding anniversary... To celebrate I threw a secret (to Courtney) party and vow “renewal” (If you had the chance to attend and wanted to see the photo-area pics click here)!!  To my excitement, she said ‘yes’… Again!!

Leading up to the anniversary I spent a lot of time in reflection to what I wanted to do for a gift… Though we have never been big on presents for each other on specials occasions, a 10^th wedding anniversary calls for a little something-something!!  Though 10 years is not as numerous as many couples we know, Courtney and I have always had a desire that our marriage (and now-a-days family) would be an encouragement to others.  I do not share that as a, “we’ve never fought and married life has been perfect” or even trying to put our lives on “pedestals” to others, however, God has called us (believers) to be an example of loving community and a reflection of Christ himself.  In the book of Ephesians 5 (a letter written by Paul to a community of believers in Ephesus) he dedicates several powerful and difficult sentences to couples and how we should act in marriage if we are followers of Christ. 

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

If it ends there, it seems both unfair to the ladies and extremely difficult.  Over the years, especially in pre-marital mentoring I’ve done, I’ve heard so much rejection and misunderstanding to this passage.  We (not just women but as a culture) get so hung up on this word “submission.”  In the land of the free “why do we have to submit to anyone” or “so I’m supposed to mindlessly obey to my own detriment”!?  If that was the only verses in the passage you have a leg to stand on and let me apologize to anyone that has used the above verses to argue or dominant a household… That is wrong (as we put it into context with the next nine verses: 3 verses to women & 9 verses to men)!

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Did you catch it!?  After reading this passage I always ask the question: “How hard would it be to submit to someone who cares for you more than themselves and would literally die for you?”  What do you think?  That’s true freedom… to put our love, trust and submission in someone that loves us more than their own life and daily puts their needs behind ours!!  P.S. that’s the gospel… to put our faith in one who can actually do the work for the payment we owe and out of thanksgiving follow!!  However, please do not get confused… Our spouses can never pay the ultimate sacrifice necessary for our sin.  Only God can do that and He has through His Son: Jesus!  Our spouses make terrible gods and even worse saviors!! 

Christian couples are given a heavy standard to live by: Wives submit to your husbands & Husbands love your wives like Christ loves the Church!  So… How are we doing!?  Fellas, how are you doing this week at putting your wife and family’s needs before your own?  How are we doing loving them the way they need love and not the way we think they want?  Ladies, how are you doing following his lead?  Are you praying that he could lead with conviction, spirit filled and love?

Though I do not want to point you to our marriage as THE example, I would love for you to be encouraged that it is possible to have a marriage that strives to bring God honor.  It is possible… to not just exist but be happy, to not just get through the years but love the memories, to not just stay together but to honor each other!! 

The Secret: Marriage is a Covenant not a Contract!!  We are called to love and honor each other daily not because “they did their part” but because we made a promise to them AND GOD however many years ago!!