Dating & Sex
- “1 in 4 teens gets an STD before they head off to college” (NCPCF)
- “1 in 3 teens experience some kind of abuse in their relationships” (dayoneny.org)
My thoughts on approaching the topic of Dating & Sex
- Don’t “demonize” sex or over “glorify” it (trying to make it great & special)
- Modeling healthy relationship with the opposite sex in front of teens (honor & service)
- Teaching an “Others-Focused” approach to dating relationships (It’s not about you)
According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
- Teens rated their parents as the most influential factor in their decisions about sex.
- 78% of all teens surveyed believed that teenagers should not be sexually active.
- 89% of those surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until at least finishing high school.
5 Tips when thinking through Teen Dating (Adapted from Homeword.com)
- Talk and set the rules for dating before it actually starts. Gather their opinions about such things as curfew, where and with who a date looks like, dealing with distractions.
- Learn about their dating readiness by asking good questions: How do you know you can trust someone? How do you know when you like someone? Lust vs. Love?
- Know when to listen and keep your opinions to yourself. An ill-timed negative comment about the current boyfriend/girlfriend could send your teen rushing back.
- Offer your own teen dating stories, at a time when your child is receptive to hearing them. And be truthful. Let your child learn from your mistakes.
- Listen to their stories. You may be naturally inclined to tune out the pre-teen saga of who said what to whom each day. But this is the way this age group communicates…
o *Think about signing your pre-teen-ager up for self-defense or assertiveness training classes. Make sure they have the tools to stand up for themselves.
Legal definitions … The State Law (Oklahoma): http://www.lsb.state.ok.us
- Consent for sex in Oklahoma is 16 & older, HOWEVER, only within two years apart
- 14 year olds and older can consent to testing, treatment, adoption, abortion, etc.
Couple quick thoughts about Sexual Orientation...
- Be Safe: Express Warmth & Empathy (Regardless of your feelings!!)
- Demonstrate unconditional love and acceptance
- Find some resources and ask for help from experienced leaders
**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!