The Two Wolves

A young boy came to his Grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had done him an injustice.  The old Grandfather said to his grandson, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.  But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy.  Hate is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.  I have struggled with these feelings many times."

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm.  He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended.  He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.  But the other wolf, is bad and full of anger.  The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper."  "He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason.  He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing.  Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both of the wolves try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"  The Grandfather smiled and said, "The one I feed." 

Why are so many kids hurting themselves?

Harmful Behaviors

The Big behaviors I see or hear about often…

-       Self-Mutilation: Cutting, burning, etc.

o   Cutting & Burning were the highest Harmful Behavior in Teens in Youth Group in Washington County in 2009 (right at 30% of “churched” teens)

-       Disorders: Eating, OCD, Bipolar, Depression, etc.

o   Don’t over react but get professional help… See Resources: Phone Numbers

-       Suicide

o   QPR Training (Don’t be afraid to ask… You’re not bringing it into their mind)

§  Question… the person about suicide

§  Persuade… the person to get help

§  Refer… the person to the appropriate resource

*Also Drugs & Sex are very harmful behaviors used to cope…covered previously

The Big questions Teens & Tweens ask…

-       Who am I??

-       I don’t like who I am…I need to fit in!!

-       What does this all mean…where can I get answers??

What can we do… www.parenting.org

-       Don’t…

o   React with anger. 

o   Go into denial about the problem. 

o   Assume this is a "phase" your teen will outgrow. 

o   Say "What did I do wrong as a mother (father) for you to do this to yourself." 

o   Ask "Why are you doing this to yourself?" 

-       Do…

o   Admit you and your child needs help. 

o   LISTEN!!!

o   Take problems very seriously. (Cutting: is not just attention-seeking behavior)

o   Be completely supportive. 

o   Discuss and seek out treatment for you and your child

Here's a couple websites that are helpful for Teens:

-       www.twloha.com

-       www.fox.com/pause

-       www.teenshealth.org

Feeling crazy!?  Here's a couple movies that will give you a glimpse into their world:

    

**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!  OR visit us online: www.surgeleadership.net

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