Top 10 Moments of 2018 (and, as always, honorable mentions)

WOWZERS... 2018 was nuts!! I had actually taken the entire month of December off because of the crazy I am now reminded of happening while making this list. Good news, with 30-days off I am chomping at the bit to tear into 2019.

However, before I get into this coming year and everything I have in store... Let's take a moment for my annual look back through the top 10 moments of 2018. **Also, if you are curious about the previous years, all the links are at the bottom!

Honorable Mentions:
*) Shareholders (My first real trip to see Walmart at that next level... It was so fun and ultimately set the tone for what all was going to take place the rest of the year)!!

Two Stories that have a lot in common

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all other conveniences. The estate larger than an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education.

Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great.

So, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But he gave his son the greatest gift he could offer, at the greatest price possible.

Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:

The clock of life is wound but once,

and no man has the power

to tell just when the hands will stop,

at late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own.

Live, love, toil with a will.

Place no faith in time.

For the clock may soon be still.

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet. Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly. Finally, the Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.

He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.

His hometown would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

Original Author Unknown

Rich & Poor

One day a wealthy dad took his son on a trip to village.  He wanted to show him how poor someone can be. 

They spent time on the farm of a poor family and soaked in as much as they could.

On the ride home the dad asked, “what did you see?”

The boy answered, “we have one dog… they have four, we have a pool… they have rivers, we have lights at night… they have stars, we buy food… they grow theirs, we have walls to protect us… they have friends.”

The dad was surprised.  In hoping to show the boy how poor THEY WERE the son was able to show his father how much THEY HAD. 

After a pause the boy said, “Thanks dad for showing me it is not about money that makes us rich it’s about simplicity and appreciation.”

You usually gain perspective on the other side of it...

That was certainly the case for Giuseppe, who is named for his father, and immigrant from Italy who had settled in California.  Because they lived in America, the family called him Joe.  But his father had his own nickname for him:  “good-for-nothing.”

Why did the elder Giuseppe call him that?  

Because Joe hated fishing.  That was seen as a terrible thing by the father, because he was a fisherman.  He loved the fishing business.  So did all of his sons - except for Good-for-Nothing Joe.  The boy didn't like being on the boat and the smell of fish made him sick. 

The boy offered to work in an office or to repair nets, but his father was simply disgusted with him and said he was good for nothing. 

The boy who was not afraid of hard work, deliver newspapers and shined shoes, giving the money to the family, but since it wasn't fishing the elder Giuseppe saw no value in it. 

Young Joe hated fishing but he loved baseball.  His older brother used to play sandlot ball and Joe used to follow them there.  And he was good - something of a legend among his playmates.  When Joe was sixteen he decided to drop out of school to become a baseball player.  By the time he was through with baseball, he was a legend.  He was christened as Giuseppe, but the nation came to know him as Joe DiMaggio, called the most complete baseball player of his generation.

And his father, the elder Giuseppe, what do you think about it?  Though he had wanted all of his sons to enter the family business, he was finally proud of his son and respected his accomplishments.  How could he not?  

Joe took the bad experiences and turned them into great experiences through the perspectives of learning.

Taken from:

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn

by. John Maxwell

To React or to Respond... That is the question

My wife is not only an accomplished volleyball player but she played and coached Division 1 (Go Golden Hurricane) for many years.  Knowing this about my wife is one thing, but finding out in-person is another.  One day several years ago I made the mistake to go "play" some volleyball with her and a group of old players.  I was not too concerned upon arrival knowing I myself was a college athlete and had picked up a few things from watching friends compete in volleyball at school.  Don't get too ahead of me here!!!  It only took two solid "blocks" with my face before I really wanted to know the difference in what my wife was shouting: "You have to respond Jeff... You keep reacting!"  

To me, the average guy, I saw the hitter go up and I embraced for impact... At best I kept my eyes open and once the ball was hit tried to move my arms high enough to return the hit.  This however, is Not responding but only reacting.  What Courtney was trying to tell me was you have to read what they are wanting to do and adjust accordingly.  From years of preparation and practice she was able to determine not just who was going to hit the ball but where it would be hit once it came off the hitters hand!  She took into consideration: who was on the court, how many blockers were at the net, which way her hips were facing, what she had done several plays earlier, etc.  And so in responding she was able to "dig" or return virtually every hit by our opponents... As long as I got my face out of the way!! 

In parenting I see a perfect parallel for us think on...  

Let me paint a quick picture for you:  It's 12:27am and you've called and texted a half a dozen times but have heard nothing.  You have your spouse call your phone to make sure it is working properly.  You check the news to see if there was any big accidents and are just getting ready to text their best friend when... "I'm so sorry!!  I didn't see that you called until just now when I was walking in!!  Can I just have a second, okay third, chance"

How many times have you had this conversation?  Are you being that strict!?  All you are asking for is a simple phone call or even text if you're going to be running late, is that too much to ask!?  What if...

Do you React or Respond?

Are you prepared to respond?  I bet when you think about it you can see some common behaviors that have surfaced.  I bet you can probably guess that at some point the boundaries will be tested (and probably already have).  I bet you can even predict that some choices change depending on who they are with and what they went out to do.

"Reacting is based on emotion, which we all know is rampant when dealing with a teenager.  

We Respond to the situation when we step back from the emotion and take a moment to think through what is really going on.  It’s not easy!  Parents, the secret is out. The map to your “buttons” has been published, and your teen will push them…Repeatedly!!  But we do our own share of pushing, don’t we?  You know what makes your teenager crazy and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels really good to give them a good share of their own medicine.  At least for a moment, until we realize we have done exactly what we are trying to teach them NOT to do!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

Three quick things to consider when rewiring ourselves to Respond:

• Discipline is about Training not about Punishment... It's not just to remember the ouch but the why.  Know why you said no. If it doesn’t make sense, have the courage to retract it.  Second chances are always necessary when it comes to our teens.  Grace always gives a redo. Give yourself grace too.
• Breathing… it gives you a moment to lower your blood pressure.  The part of our teen’s brain that controls reasoning is still underdeveloped at this point.  They use a different part of the brain geared towards instinctual decisions or risk taking.  Peer pressure is a large influence in our teen’s decisions.  At this point of our teen’s development, they are trying to become independent of us.
• Develop Contracts for the major occasions (Cell Phone, Driving, etc.)  Clearly communicate the expectations and consequences, as well as, the desires of both the parent and the teenager.  Make a plan for when trust is broken, so that it can be restored allowing the relationship between parent and teenager to grow.  Agree together ahead of time how to handle the unexpected events. 

"Your teen’s personality can play a large part of how they respond to certain situations. Some are sensitive and appear not to react outwardly.  But that doesn’t mean a thing. Inwardly they could be screaming at you.  Some teens are passionately vocal.  They are very certain you know exactly how they feel.  They all deserve our respect and guidance.  Reacting is easy, responding isn’t.  Responding shows your teen that you love them enough to stop for a moment and make sure what you are saying or doing is based on truth and not emotion.  Reacting can be a really selfish act.  We want to get our point across at all costs.  Sometimes the cost is just a little too high.  It can cost the trust our teens have in us.  Can your teen trust that you will respond and not react to any given situation.  Have the courage to ask your teen if you respond or react and then give them permission to tell you how they wish you would handle these situations.  It takes a brave and humble parent to realize that before we can teach our teens this concept maybe we should learn it for ourselves!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

For some of us resolving conflict in a healthy way is difficult because of our own baggage growing up.  Perhaps you were raised in a home that had a “take no prisoners” mentality when it came to conflict.  Win at all costs was the name of the game.  You learned early on that your job was to watch your own back, defend yourself, and never back down... But if you are willing to develop new habits and value loving more than being declared right, then your whole family wins!!

**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!

**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

Children See... Children Do!!

Disclaimer: This video is an actual ad that was ran in Australia and is very real. There is no language but there is some hard scenarios, please do NOT watch with your children!

Can I ask you a couple questions:
- How did this commercial make you feel?
- What was the most offensive part of the video to you?
- Why is a kid giving someone "the finger" often more offensive than the domestic abuse?

Bad News: Jesus said, "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck."  

Good News: Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Full Context: Mark 9:35-50

We have a very unique and high calling as parents and leaders. 

May we live to honor Him and lead our kids in humble obedience!! 

I don't think I want to say much more, instead just let it sink in... 
AND let's discuss in the comments below!! 

Really... A gum commercial!?

So there I was minding my own business when this commercial came on (It takes one minute):

In case the video doesn't start above: Click Here

I KNOW RIGHT!!!  How did that gum commercial make me cry!?  If it didn't, you have no soul (or maybe you just don't have a daughter yet)!!  For me, this video hits the very core of what I want as a parent: to see our kids grow healthy and strong.  We want to be there and we want them to remember those times as much as we will.  

I don't have much this week but a couple questions I'd love for you to answer to yourself:

• How much time have you spent with your son or daughter this week?
• Have you been able to carve out some one-on-one time this month?
• Did you get a chance to just sit with them at the bookend times (breakfast or bedtime)?

"Family"...the new selling point

A couple of weeks back I posted a commercial from Extra (Yeah, the gum company) that I think "nails it" in the world of family ministry.  Without a doubt it nails something inside me to what I want with my girls (See the whole post here).  In fact last night I got to go on another Daddy-Daughter Date with my two beautiful girls.  I wasn't planning on going on one this week but I received an e-mail from Chili's saying they were hosting a "Daddy-Daughter Night Out" including dessert, a picture with frame and necklace for the girls... FOR FREE!!!  A pastor can't pass that up.  

As we were having our fun little evening out I saw on a nearby TV a commercial that articulated exactly what I was trying to create right then (I'll come back to it).  In fact in the past several weeks I have seen a bunch of commercials that are selling the same thing... Family!!  Why are so many companies using "family" to tug at our heart strings (I can literally give you over a dozen "family focused" ads from the past year... "Prove it" you say,send me an e-mail and I'll hook you up with links)?  Is it working?  Is there something going on in our culture, a shift to new (or lost) priorities?  


I believe we are living in an exciting time.  A time where choices will matter again.  A time where family (and not just mom, dad and 2.5 kids) is something that must be apart of our culture.  A community of folks who love each other, share life together, play together and hopefully push our kids to a higher standard of living (relational wealth vs. financial wealth).  The crazy thing is this vision isn't "new", in fact its been around for a very long time.  TheTorah puts it this way: 

"Listen, Israel! The Eternal is our True God—He alone. You should love Him, your True God, with all your heart and soul, with every ounce of your strength.  Make the things I’m commanding you today part of who you are.  Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you’re sitting together in your home and when you’re walking together down the road. Make them the last thing you talk about before you go to bed and the first thing you talk about the next morning.  Do whatever it takes to remember them: tie a reminder on your hand and bind a reminder on your forehead where you’ll see it all the time, such as on the doorpost where you cross the threshold or on the city gate." (Translation from 'The Voice')

Two practical questions pop out to me in the above text:

• Am I "being" the example I want to see in my children?
• Am I taking the time to "do whatever it takes" to help them remember?

Back to the commercial that sparked everything for me this week...

In one minute, some business nails both principles we stated above: Be & Remember.  This should be more than a deep desire for us but something we put at the top of our 'things to do' list!  Consequentially this commercial also gives what could be our purpose statement at NBFamilies: "We know we are not the center of your life, but we will do our best to help you connect to what is"

I believe if you're taking time out of your day to read a blog about family you're probably already doing some of the above mentioned.  But our hope and prayer is that we as a community would embrace 'being a disciple of Christ' first and then looking for ways that our children would remember (Faith Talks, Faith Walks & Faith Mission).  May the passion for our family overflow beyond just us and impact the entire community we call New Beginnings (and our city, country, world)!!