To React or to Respond... That is the question

My wife is not only an accomplished volleyball player but she played and coached Division 1 (Go Golden Hurricane) for many years.  Knowing this about my wife is one thing, but finding out in-person is another.  One day several years ago I made the mistake to go "play" some volleyball with her and a group of old players.  I was not too concerned upon arrival knowing I myself was a college athlete and had picked up a few things from watching friends compete in volleyball at school.  Don't get too ahead of me here!!!  It only took two solid "blocks" with my face before I really wanted to know the difference in what my wife was shouting: "You have to respond Jeff... You keep reacting!"  

To me, the average guy, I saw the hitter go up and I embraced for impact... At best I kept my eyes open and once the ball was hit tried to move my arms high enough to return the hit.  This however, is Not responding but only reacting.  What Courtney was trying to tell me was you have to read what they are wanting to do and adjust accordingly.  From years of preparation and practice she was able to determine not just who was going to hit the ball but where it would be hit once it came off the hitters hand!  She took into consideration: who was on the court, how many blockers were at the net, which way her hips were facing, what she had done several plays earlier, etc.  And so in responding she was able to "dig" or return virtually every hit by our opponents... As long as I got my face out of the way!! 

In parenting I see a perfect parallel for us think on...  

Let me paint a quick picture for you:  It's 12:27am and you've called and texted a half a dozen times but have heard nothing.  You have your spouse call your phone to make sure it is working properly.  You check the news to see if there was any big accidents and are just getting ready to text their best friend when... "I'm so sorry!!  I didn't see that you called until just now when I was walking in!!  Can I just have a second, okay third, chance"

How many times have you had this conversation?  Are you being that strict!?  All you are asking for is a simple phone call or even text if you're going to be running late, is that too much to ask!?  What if...

Do you React or Respond?

Are you prepared to respond?  I bet when you think about it you can see some common behaviors that have surfaced.  I bet you can probably guess that at some point the boundaries will be tested (and probably already have).  I bet you can even predict that some choices change depending on who they are with and what they went out to do.

"Reacting is based on emotion, which we all know is rampant when dealing with a teenager.  

We Respond to the situation when we step back from the emotion and take a moment to think through what is really going on.  It’s not easy!  Parents, the secret is out. The map to your “buttons” has been published, and your teen will push them…Repeatedly!!  But we do our own share of pushing, don’t we?  You know what makes your teenager crazy and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels really good to give them a good share of their own medicine.  At least for a moment, until we realize we have done exactly what we are trying to teach them NOT to do!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

Three quick things to consider when rewiring ourselves to Respond:

• Discipline is about Training not about Punishment... It's not just to remember the ouch but the why.  Know why you said no. If it doesn’t make sense, have the courage to retract it.  Second chances are always necessary when it comes to our teens.  Grace always gives a redo. Give yourself grace too.
• Breathing… it gives you a moment to lower your blood pressure.  The part of our teen’s brain that controls reasoning is still underdeveloped at this point.  They use a different part of the brain geared towards instinctual decisions or risk taking.  Peer pressure is a large influence in our teen’s decisions.  At this point of our teen’s development, they are trying to become independent of us.
• Develop Contracts for the major occasions (Cell Phone, Driving, etc.)  Clearly communicate the expectations and consequences, as well as, the desires of both the parent and the teenager.  Make a plan for when trust is broken, so that it can be restored allowing the relationship between parent and teenager to grow.  Agree together ahead of time how to handle the unexpected events. 

"Your teen’s personality can play a large part of how they respond to certain situations. Some are sensitive and appear not to react outwardly.  But that doesn’t mean a thing. Inwardly they could be screaming at you.  Some teens are passionately vocal.  They are very certain you know exactly how they feel.  They all deserve our respect and guidance.  Reacting is easy, responding isn’t.  Responding shows your teen that you love them enough to stop for a moment and make sure what you are saying or doing is based on truth and not emotion.  Reacting can be a really selfish act.  We want to get our point across at all costs.  Sometimes the cost is just a little too high.  It can cost the trust our teens have in us.  Can your teen trust that you will respond and not react to any given situation.  Have the courage to ask your teen if you respond or react and then give them permission to tell you how they wish you would handle these situations.  It takes a brave and humble parent to realize that before we can teach our teens this concept maybe we should learn it for ourselves!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

For some of us resolving conflict in a healthy way is difficult because of our own baggage growing up.  Perhaps you were raised in a home that had a “take no prisoners” mentality when it came to conflict.  Win at all costs was the name of the game.  You learned early on that your job was to watch your own back, defend yourself, and never back down... But if you are willing to develop new habits and value loving more than being declared right, then your whole family wins!!

**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!

**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

Children See... Children Do!!

Disclaimer: This video is an actual ad that was ran in Australia and is very real. There is no language but there is some hard scenarios, please do NOT watch with your children!

Can I ask you a couple questions:
- How did this commercial make you feel?
- What was the most offensive part of the video to you?
- Why is a kid giving someone "the finger" often more offensive than the domestic abuse?

Bad News: Jesus said, "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck."  

Good News: Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Full Context: Mark 9:35-50

We have a very unique and high calling as parents and leaders. 

May we live to honor Him and lead our kids in humble obedience!! 

I don't think I want to say much more, instead just let it sink in... 
AND let's discuss in the comments below!! 

Really... A gum commercial!?

So there I was minding my own business when this commercial came on (It takes one minute):

In case the video doesn't start above: Click Here

I KNOW RIGHT!!!  How did that gum commercial make me cry!?  If it didn't, you have no soul (or maybe you just don't have a daughter yet)!!  For me, this video hits the very core of what I want as a parent: to see our kids grow healthy and strong.  We want to be there and we want them to remember those times as much as we will.  

I don't have much this week but a couple questions I'd love for you to answer to yourself:

• How much time have you spent with your son or daughter this week?
• Have you been able to carve out some one-on-one time this month?
• Did you get a chance to just sit with them at the bookend times (breakfast or bedtime)?

"Family"...the new selling point

A couple of weeks back I posted a commercial from Extra (Yeah, the gum company) that I think "nails it" in the world of family ministry.  Without a doubt it nails something inside me to what I want with my girls (See the whole post here).  In fact last night I got to go on another Daddy-Daughter Date with my two beautiful girls.  I wasn't planning on going on one this week but I received an e-mail from Chili's saying they were hosting a "Daddy-Daughter Night Out" including dessert, a picture with frame and necklace for the girls... FOR FREE!!!  A pastor can't pass that up.  

As we were having our fun little evening out I saw on a nearby TV a commercial that articulated exactly what I was trying to create right then (I'll come back to it).  In fact in the past several weeks I have seen a bunch of commercials that are selling the same thing... Family!!  Why are so many companies using "family" to tug at our heart strings (I can literally give you over a dozen "family focused" ads from the past year... "Prove it" you say,send me an e-mail and I'll hook you up with links)?  Is it working?  Is there something going on in our culture, a shift to new (or lost) priorities?  


I believe we are living in an exciting time.  A time where choices will matter again.  A time where family (and not just mom, dad and 2.5 kids) is something that must be apart of our culture.  A community of folks who love each other, share life together, play together and hopefully push our kids to a higher standard of living (relational wealth vs. financial wealth).  The crazy thing is this vision isn't "new", in fact its been around for a very long time.  TheTorah puts it this way: 

"Listen, Israel! The Eternal is our True God—He alone. You should love Him, your True God, with all your heart and soul, with every ounce of your strength.  Make the things I’m commanding you today part of who you are.  Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you’re sitting together in your home and when you’re walking together down the road. Make them the last thing you talk about before you go to bed and the first thing you talk about the next morning.  Do whatever it takes to remember them: tie a reminder on your hand and bind a reminder on your forehead where you’ll see it all the time, such as on the doorpost where you cross the threshold or on the city gate." (Translation from 'The Voice')

Two practical questions pop out to me in the above text:

• Am I "being" the example I want to see in my children?
• Am I taking the time to "do whatever it takes" to help them remember?

Back to the commercial that sparked everything for me this week...

In one minute, some business nails both principles we stated above: Be & Remember.  This should be more than a deep desire for us but something we put at the top of our 'things to do' list!  Consequentially this commercial also gives what could be our purpose statement at NBFamilies: "We know we are not the center of your life, but we will do our best to help you connect to what is"

I believe if you're taking time out of your day to read a blog about family you're probably already doing some of the above mentioned.  But our hope and prayer is that we as a community would embrace 'being a disciple of Christ' first and then looking for ways that our children would remember (Faith Talks, Faith Walks & Faith Mission).  May the passion for our family overflow beyond just us and impact the entire community we call New Beginnings (and our city, country, world)!!  

Don't Stop... Start!!

Two weeks ago I had finally had it.  I have now been "retired" from football for over a decade yet my eating habits had never changed.  Over the years I was able to stay fairly active and thus keep that weight down to some what 'in control.'  However, these past few years have really gotten the best of me... Kids, Work, Blah, Blah, Blah and I when I finally got on the scale it was appalling (and for the sake of accountability, I'll just tell you: 263lbs!!).  

For years I have known it was a problem and even knew it was dangerous for future living.  Though at times I have dropped weight it was never a change in my lifestyle just a diet.  But before you stop reading thinking this is about weight loss give me a few more sentences.  I read an article this week that made me angry!  I didn't get angry because it was "spinning the facts" or because it was about some poor kids in a far off country... I was angry because it was calling me out!!

"They observed 55 caregivers eating with at least one child in fast-food restaurants. Forty of those caregivers used a mobile device during the meal... primary focus of the caregiver’s attention and engagement was with the device rather than the child...Caregivers absorbed in devices frequently ignored the child’s behavior for a while and then reacted with a scolding tone of voice" Read more from the article here

Ouch!!  I don't know if I'm alone on this (according to the article I am not) but this one hit close to home.  BUT... I only check a couple e-mails at dinner or return that important text, I really wanted to show my wife something funny I saw or finish my highest score ever on Doodle Jump (that was for Phil & Sankie), I'll just turn the ringer off, what if it's an emergency... Bottom line:  I've known it was an issue for some time!!  Like my eating habits combined with my lack of exercise and time, it was taking it's toll.  After taking some time to think about it I came across this article: Be an Involved Father (by Carey Casey).  What I loved about it was not only the ideas but that it wasn't about "stopping the phone use."  In the same way diets hardly work, just dropping my phone for the next 30-days wasn't going to fix the bigger issue.  It has to be a lifestyle change or you will simply revert back to life after the "diet" is over!!

Here are the great suggestions from the article (and there are a bunch more from the comments):    

1. Reading. This can be a time of closeness, sharing new ideas and making your child feel special. It’s an especially great way to end the day.
2. Mealtime. Don’t stop at traditional dinners; picnics, carryout pizza or Sunday brunch can add to the togetherness. Maybe it’s time to get out that old fondue pot you got as a wedding gift twenty years ago.
3. Physical affection. When you walk in the door after work, make sure you get hugs from everyone—and that means everyone. (Even if you have to hunt them down in the basement or back yard.)
4. Playing games. What better way to encourage your kids’ imagination, physical and mental prowess, and a healthy spirit of competition? That includes peek-a-boo with an infant, whiffle ball in the back yard or a family chess tournament.
5. Chores and errands. Everyday chores help a child define his place in the family, give him an opportunity to contribute, and provide another opportunity to spend time together. And those day-to-day trips to the store can become priceless times with Dad.
6. Cooking. Get the whole family working on a meal, and then enjoy the results.
7. Taking pictures. Family photographs are a great way to mark and then remember events for years to come. Some kids dread it when the camera comes out, but strive to make it fun; see who can do the most hilarious things in front of a camera.
8. Storytelling. Looking through old photos and videos can lead to some great stories about your youth, your parents and grandparents. Or tell your kids a made-up story where they’re one of the characters. (Or read a story together.)
9. Family outings. This can be a drive into the country to see the cows or a full-blown vacation to Yellowstone. Don’t get so caught up in the destination that you forget to enjoy the trip. And remember, a low-budget camping weekend can mean more to your kids than a trip to Hawaii.
10. Spiritual activities. Praying together, attending church, and family devotions can become unique and priceless rituals. Also, find ways to put it into action—like organizing the family to volunteer somewhere or gather clothes for a homeless shelter.

Big picture moment: 
The point isn't "STOP using the phone" but "START being a dad"!!

Update on the "family" side: My family and I had a wonderful mini-vacation this week in Oklahoma City... I don't always get it right but I did turn the phone off for two days and fished, played in a pool, went to a museum, cuddled, saw grandparents, ran around a playground... It was amazing!!  I hope you can find some time to do the same this spring!!

Update on the "diet" side: Court & I are entered to run a Spartan Beast, November 1st in the Dallas area.  If you are brave enough, we would love to see you there... Sign up here!!  Our team name is "With This or Upon This!"  For you history buffs, this is what spartan women and parents told their soldiers before heading off to battle (Come back victorious or die trying).  We're not crazy... It just has to be more than a diet!! 

Family Devotions or Bust

For over three years the Berg's have set aside one night a week just to be together.  In the past year we started being more intentional with a devotional and counting down our days together (what's been dubbed "Berg Family Fun Night" by our kids).  When I look over my calendar and through the pics on my phone, of the countless activities we've took part in, I'm filled with joy.  However, I also remember a few hard nights, like this week.  Though I'll spare you the dialogue know that the context was anger.  In fact, as I type this my head is filled with emotions from frustration that we don't have it together to fear that my kids will remember those nights over the good ones.  This monday we were coming home from a birthday party of one of Jackson's classmates.  Upon arrival to the garage I asked for teeth to be brushed, jammies on and reconvened in the living room.  After twenty minutes we still didn't have it together and really I should have known it was going to be downhill from the party.  Through the tears, raised voices and being sent to their rooms without a bedtime snack, it hit me... I definitely overacted and didn't show them Jesus, BUT WHY WAS I SO MAD?!

In the article '10 Surefire Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Family Devotionals' the author Jessica Thompson says: "Family devotions are a good thing. They can be a means of grace to your entire family, but often we turn them into an idol. We get some idea in our head about how devotions are supposed to look, and we won’t budge an inch from getting that picture exactly right. Have you ever been so rigid in your family devotional time that you made it drudgery instead of a joy?"

Did she hit it on the head?  As I thought about our evening I thought of several reasons it went south but the biggest one was probably the tight hold I have had on my expectations for our Monday nights.  I want so badly for each Monday to be the best night yet, for me and the family.  The reality, however, is that some days are stressful at work and don't allow enough time for me (or the family) to detox before jumping right into another "activity."  Often, things come up and though we want our one day a week to be sacred (not intentionally scheduling things there) sometimes things come up.  But most of all, our hearts need to be ready and in a position to overflow with love to others if we want to be the hands and feet of Christ.  In short, I had in fact made an idol out of our family nights!  What!?  No... Family time cannot be an idol!! 

Our pastor at New Beginnings (Dr. Phil) started a sermon series this week, impeccable timing I know, called "Mine" (read more about it here).  One of the most thought provoking statements I heard this week was: "even good things [God created things] can become idols in our lives when it's more important than God."  If you were here, move on but if you weren't, let that sink in... Good things (nature, food, sports, money, the Bible, kids... family) can be bad when we allow them to take over and rule our lives.  When our ultimate happiness is found in ANYTHING over Christ's love and will in our lives, we will not only be let down at some point but be led astray on our purpose in life.  I know what you're thinking: "But Jeff, God wants you to spend time with your family and teach them about Him."  Absolutely True!!  However, when our evenings end in yelling and anger I should probably stop and assess the evening.  I was more concerned with checking the box ("Family Devotional") than I was with the hearts of my family. 

As I look back over the list from the article by Thompson, though some are just funny ("Make sure that Carman’s “The Champion” is always playing in the background") some hit me really hard:

• "Don’t allow your kids to act like kids. Make sure they sit completely still and listen to every word you say"
• "Expect immediate, visible results. If they are not...asking for forgiveness by the end of the devotional time, you have done something wrong"
• "Don’t let them see your weakness. Make sure that if there is a question about confessing sin, you point out all of their sin. Don’t ever bring up the ways you fail"

Reading that last one especially speaks heavily that I had not prepared myself (in prayer, devotions, etc.) to overflow His love and grace, which ultimately translates to: "I not only can do this on my own but I can do it better than God."  Idols are scary... They come from everywhere and can even be blessings from God, Himself, that we twisted just a little.  Though I can't take back Monday, I can prepare for future Mondays, as well as, my day-to-day life putting God absolutely first. 

May You give us protection from ourselves... May His Spirit led us to conviction in our own hearts... May His Son show us the grace necessary to live as His hands and feet... May we worship You Father as the only true God... May I serve You well in my family and life!!

The Berg's

**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

"You are Special"

What comes to mind when you hear: "You are Special!" 

• Do you think: "Yeah right, what are you wanting from me"  
• How about something like: "That's right, I am special bring me my golden slippers"
• Or maybe: "Wow... That was rude, remind me to take you off my christmas card list"

Though I was joking a little above, I feel like this phrase is something we both don't believe about ourselves or we've taken it too far.  It's been my experience in over 10 years of full-time ministry that I often meet two kinds of students: ones that think they're more special than everyone & everything else and ones that think they are not worth much at all.  Yes, there is another group but they are not very common... let that sink in!  The sad news is, as adults, we often fall into those two groups as well.  I know this to be true because I'm on social media!!  I do not believe facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. are the devil but I do think there's something about these public platforms that magnifies our need to either feel special or show people we're "special."  I know this because I do/feel it too... 

• I post that picture (only the ones that don't make me look fat)... and wait for lots of 'likes'!!  
• I share the really good story (after tweaking it to make it a little more funny)... hoping for 'shares'!!  
• I change my status from 'excited' to 'sad'... waiting for someone to comment asking about it!!

Bottom line... There's a reason we are special and it's not a 'what we do' as much as it is a 'why we are'!!  Recently, I re-read a book with my kids that reminded me of this simple truth yet again.  The book was "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  I'm guessing you have probably read it or heard of it but if you haven't, I'm strongly recommending you get it and if you have, give it another read tonight (Make it a Faith Talk this week).

In the book a small wooden person named Punchinello goes about his life as other wemmicks place 'golden stars' on those they think are special and 'grey dots' on those they do not.  As much as I want to share with you the whole story... I'd rather you read it!!  However, I wanted to share with you three things that really jumped out at me in new ways:

1) "...everytime they got a star, it made them feel soo good and it made them want to do it again..." Why do 'likes', 'shares' and 'followers' on social media (and life) make me feel so good!?  Does this make me special?

2) "...in fact, he had so many dots people would come up to him and give him grey dots for no reason at all..." Why do I follow the crowd so easily even if it hurts other people in the process!?  Am I so desperate to feel special that I'm willing to bring others down?

((SPOILER ALERT))

3) In the end, Punchinello meets a girl with no stars or dots "...and it's not because people didn't try..." but because she found her worth in the way the Maker saw her.  "...each day I go and see Eli..."  Why is our culture as lost as I am?  Am I spending daily time with the one whom gives me true worth and direction!?

My grandpa used to say: "It's not what you know, it's who you know!"  Though he was often talking about work, politics, etc. this is at the heart, the Gospel!!  The gospel isn't just for those who don't feel special but also for those that think they are special for the wrong reasons.

May we take some extra time today to make sure our kids hear they are special... May we give our kids a clear reason why they are special... May we ourselves hear that we are special because of the Creator... May we make it a point to show someone else how special they are and may we be so bold to give them the reason why as well!!

Who doesn't like treats?

My morning started like a lot of mornings recently… A mixture of early alarm clocks, cranky kiddos and a couple moments to catch up on correspondence.  Because of the "hustle and bustle" of morning prep and deadlines it's hard to take the time for a good morning meal but instead a quick breakfast bar running out the door.  Can you relate?  If you don't relate, give us a break, we're a bunch of night owls trying to accommodate the rest of you morning folks!!

But literally this morning (like minutes ago) I walked into the kitchen to see this:

Me: "Charleigh why are you giving Carly a treat?"
Charleigh: "Because she likes them"
Me: "Baby, we can't give her a treat just because she likes them"
Charleigh: "Why not?"
Me: "Because she can't always have treats, she needs something more nutritious"
Charleigh: "What's 'new-trish-ish'?"
Me: "Something more than just a treat" (Yes, I should have done a better job here)
Charleigh: "So two treats?"
Me: "We're late for school…"

As we left for school I realized how often I have been blowing it.  Not just with breakfast, that's the obvious, but spending time with God.  Lately I have been lucky to just get up and get everyone out the door without dying, if we're on-time God provided another miracle.  Typically I wake-up and take a moment and expect a "treat" from God.  I open my e-mails and read my devotional verse from Operation World or YouVersion all the while thinking this is enough to get me through my day.  And to be honest, it has!  Or at least I'm still alive this wednesday morning.  But what would it look like if I had taken the time to actually get a 'new-trish-ish' meal from His Word and not just a treat?  How much better would I have been to approach my cranky kiddos, the "bad drivers" while taking the kids to school, even in my responses via e-mails & texts (not even mentioning that they could ultimately wait until the kids are off)?

My hope this morning wasn't to judge or call you out… Hopefully encourage you with a little life lesson (Faith Moment) Jesus blessed me with this morning through my little girl (and dog)!!

This is what I read shortly there after (take some time and read the whole chapter for a more nutritious meal… Proverbs 2 (verses 1-6) says: "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, listening closely to wisdom and directing your heart to understanding; furthermore, if you call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it like hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God.  For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding."

Snow Day!!!

"Snow Day"... I'm not sure if there is another set of words that when used together bring more excitement and joy to kids yet often anger and fear to parents.  Though I'm joking a little, you know what I'm talking about.  The first snow day is like: "sledding is the best", the second day is: "alright, that's fine, we could do another day" but the third day is: "Our school's name better not come up... Nooooooo!!!  What are they thinking, the streets are fine!?"

Recently I had a realization that I don't have much more time with my kids.  Couple that with the fact that our kids go to public schools and time together is limited, I have made it a goal to take vacation time anytime my kids are out of school.  I know that most are not blessed with a cool enough job to be able to take a day-off when the kids are out of school for holidays, especially not for a "snow day".  My heart this morning isn't about having days-off to be a better parent but making sure we take the time however we can get it.  Last week, Courtney sent me a story of a family in New Jersey that took advantage of an opportunity to create memories together through building an igloo (Click here to read the whole story).  The thing that I loved the most in the whole story was dad's response at the end: "There is never a good time to stop your life and take on some a silly family project...But if you don't stop every once in a while, you never will."  

Trust me when I tell you we do not stop life enough to do silly family projects and I often blow it on seeing great Faith Walk moments.  But I'm trying...  That statement is the spirit that has inspired us to do more.  To look for ways to find joy in the now and not just hopeful for "when we have enough money saved up."  To take time-off even when it doesn't seem like a "good time" knowing we are not promised tomorrow.  Many folks know that my step-father ("Pop") passed away two years ago.  Most of you probably don't know that it happened while we were working on a floor for my daughters' playhouse.  Though it has been hard thinking about what else he could have done all those times he came to help me or the retirement I know my mom and he were looking forward to, I also know he would have had it no other way.  He loved making memories with his grandkids and is smiling watching us play every chance we take.  May we never waste a moment!!  

Over the last month we have seen several "snow days" and my prayer is that the Berg kids remember each of them with joy and excitement!!  Below are a few pics from this year's snow days:

Bathroom 101

I'm not sure what your evening routine is with kiddos but here’s an example recently: 

7:30p  Court: "Alright guys, let's start getting ready for bed"

7:32p  Impromptu dance party in the living room

7:45p  Me: "Okay, that was fun, now let's get ready for bed"

7:51p  Loud noises and possibly the sound of things breaking

7:52p  Me: "GUYS... WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?"

7:55p  Court: "Did you remember to get your drink or apple?" (Yes, they love apples)

8:01p  Kids: "Dad, will you read a chapter of our book tonight"

8:02p  Me: "Did you guys brush your teeth tonight?"

          Kids: "YES!!!!"

          Me: "No you did not"

          Kids: "Yes we did"

          Me: "Do it again then"

8:03p  Kids: "Done"

          Me: "Everybody back to the bathroom…"

8:15p  Kids asleep… IN OUR DREAMS!!!

It was here that I noticed something… At some point we started assuming our kids knew the routine for bed and believed they did it well each time.  And if I were being very honest, I would have to admit that more often than not I’m not very vigilant or concerned with the process as much as I just need them down and soon!!   Sure, at 8, 7 & 4 we should be getting close, at least, for two of them but that doesn’t mean what happened next wasn’t necessary.  Courtney and I began going over “Bathroom 101.”  We walked through ‘washing hands’, ‘showering’, ‘combing’, ‘brushing’ and even ‘wiping’ (no stone left unturned here).  It turned into a pretty fun time and one I will remember forever because it was exactly the word picture I was looking for to articulate where I am at in my spiritual journey.

Though I know I’m supposed to be reading my Bible, praying, sharing God's love, etc.  Somewhere along the way it had become just the "routine" and over time had been dwindled down to the bare basics of a list.  I would pray every day, I would try and share God's love both in action and word, I would even check the list with some Bible reading in the morning to get my day "started right."  But I was missing the intent… All of those, to use some Christianese, spiritual disciplines were well and good and I believe even essential to keep a solid commitment to God in "dry times."  However, because they were just things I did to start my day, I treated them as such, just brushing my teeth for 7 seconds to say I had and not getting the real point (or benefit) of taking my time and doing it well.  

Hear me clearly… I don't have it all together!  I'm not even completely through this period right now.  I do know that I don't want to just have a meaningless checklist but a real relationship with the Creator of the universe.  This week, I'm excited again for reading God's living Word praying for my heart to be moved closer to His story.  This week, I'm focused on reading other author's thoughts on discipline and truth.  This week, I'm praying for change and will not back down until it happens.  This week, I focus on my physical body and my spiritual body.  My hope is that 'this week' turns into a month, that turns into a year, that continues for a new season in my life.  

Good Moms & Good Dads

Throughout my day, I often receive an assortment of random things from sermon messages "I have to hear" to funny YouTube videos "I have to see" (want proof: click here)... And with the rise of Pintrest (I know I'm speaking your love language now ladies), as of late, I have been getting helpful and often clever pictures as well!!  

Though I have been carrying these two in my phone for some time, I wanted to share them today.  The first is a incredibly helpful and sweet picture with some "Tips for a Enjoyable Morning" with Moms and their kids... I love it's content and if all you get off todays posts is that picture, it was worth your time (Mornings are the pace-setter for the day and I know I need all the help I can get)!!

Make preparations... Lay out their clothes... Decide the night before what's for breakfast... Wake up before our children... Turn on soft music... Pray over them... Wake them up with joy... Give lots of kisses

The second picture is one I received from my little sister with a note that said: "Yeah, thought of you"!!  I couldn't help but laugh out loud, both because of the picture and because I was semi-concerned that that was literally Jackson and I on a past Lowes trip!!

Simple and sweet 'food for thought' today... Whether you are carving out extra time in the mornings with your kids OR just making the most of the time you do have, our kids will learn from us what's important (May it be THEM)!!  

Can I pray a blessing for you right now? Will you take 2 more minutes and pray it with me?

**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!

**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

There's signs everywhere...

Over the past several months all three of our kids have jumped head first into different activities trying to find out what their "thing" is... Jackson is committed to getting the coveted blackbelt at Karate and Charleigh has loved bouncing on the trampolines at Gymnastics.  Creighton, however, continues to explore, trying both of those activities and beyond!!  Though I'm not pumped about moving from one event to the next it has provided lots of opportunity to see a reoccurring theme in "Children's Activities" all over.  

Below is a picture of a sign seen posted on a little league baseball field...

This is a flyer that was sent home with us from Karate...

This is a book excerpt that was posted at Gymnastics last month...

Three different signs, from three different locations, all pointing to the same thing: Kids do what they see their parents/adults do!!  The Bible says it this way: "If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).  

Though that verse is talking about leading others into sin and that's not exactly the implication of the signs, I hope it is a strong enough reminder the importance we play in the example to children (especially our own)!!  

Are we going to hit "homeruns" every single day with our kids?  Probably not... 

But no one walks up the the plate to "strike-out"!!**

May we strive to be holy in our daily lives... Just as is commanded in Matthew 5:48 (100% Jesus)!!  May we look for incredible Faith Walk moments this week!!  May we be the kind of men and women we want our sons and daughters to become!!  May we be a community of believers that encourages transparent living!!  May we love our kids enough to live life above reproach... Not without mistakes but full of forgiveness and mercy!!  

**Only added so Matt Fowler would think I know something about Baseball!!

Any one of these pictures could be a blogpost all by itself... In fact, please take 3 minutes and read each of the statements in the "Boost Your Kids Self-Esteem" pic... This is Spiritual Parenting!!

Which do you need to work on this week!?