Berg Family Update

Several folks have asked what we’re up to… So if that’s not you, I guess you can just ‘like’ this status because you’re in the know!

After leaving NBC in July, we became “professional” vacationers, not really on purpose just a lot of very cool opportunities fell in our lap.  This was amazing not only for the fun times but because one of our main goals for this new season was to turn in as a family and spend lots of time together. 

More recently I took a part-time job with Bixby High School to serve coaches and encourage student-athletes with the Spartan Code (also referred to as #DISC), a leadership curriculum I originally put together for the football team.  I also started taking more speaking opportunities, specifically sharing the ’10 Things You should know about Teens& Tweens’ seminar with schools, churches and even libraries.  Because of these two very cool opportunities and a couple more we are working on but can’t announce publically yet, we have created ‘Surge Leadership.’  This, prayerfully, will be a 501c3 that will umbrella several cool ministry opportunities and also be a beacon of leadership passionately seeking to help change the world. 

As for the rest of the crew… the kids are hopefully beginning to settle in at their new school: Holy Family.  This transition was a combination of a need for a full-day PreK and an incredible offer.  Courtney received that offer, “that she couldn’t refuse,” from Murphy-Francy Law, which just so happens to be two blocks from the kids new school.  Thus, God has been, and is, so good and so faithful, even in the midst of our doubts. 

Thank you to so many who have prayed for us and checked in with us…we cannot even begin to tell you how valuable those texts, calls and cards are to us.  Change is always hard and moving in a new direction is scary, especially when, at first, it appears to be so different from the previous decade.  We are so excited for what we feel is a God led direction and focus.  Please continue to pray for us and if you are looking for more to do, please go ‘like’ and even ‘share’ the new page: Surge Leadership!!  More exciting news to come…

DDW- the Berg clan

www.surgeberg.com 

Jeff, Courtney, Jackson, Creighton and Charleigh

101 Reasons I Love My Wife

- Her smile (specifically cheeks)
- Her heart
- Her transparency in life
- Her passion to Christ
- Her loyalty to others
- Her commitment to me
- Her discipline to be better
- Her vulnerability with me
- Her leadership of others
- Her drive to compete 
- Her intentionality with the kids
- Her willingness to love me
- Her willingness to serve me
- Her look when she's flirting
- Her look when she's mad
- Her desire to be held
- Her need for me
- Her allowing me to lead
- Her encouragement of me
- Her love for her family
- Her family
- Her love of my family
- Her athletic ability 
- Her voice when she's sad
- Her voice when she's happy
- Her laugh
- Her "brown" hair
- Her butt
- Her ability to lead in any situation
- Her desire to know the kids
- Her frustration of running late
- Her word
- Her excitement for candy 
- Her passion
- Her faithfulness to me
- Her deep blue eyes
- Her passion for adoption
- Her sneezes 
- Her smile when she's mad
- Her frustration yet love for the dog
- Her making up words to songs
- Her focus of things I miss
- Her spelling ability 
- Her direction 
- Her sense of humor
- Her desire for deep friendships
- Her friendship to me
- Her ability to bear everyone
- Her competitive edge 
- Her love of excel spreadsheets 
- Her giggle that turns to laughs
- Her "coke bottle" glasses
- Her habit of leaving tags on the floor
- Her slow creep to the middle of the bed 
- Her work ethic
- Her middle toe
- Her commitment to run
- Her love of sleep
- Her love of darkness
- Her traveling "procedures"
- Her willingness to listen
- Her need to feel safe
- Her trust of other people
- Her discernment
- Her voice of reason for me
- Her constant attention to detail
- Her go-getter spirit 
- Her soft tshirts
- Her dancing
- Her desire to make me happy
- Her honesty with herself
- Her willpower to win
- Her ability to be just about everyone 
- Her hair when it has "The wave"
- Her excitement when she has a surprise 
- Her inability to not be surprised
- Her need to raise the bar
- Her education
- Her life experiences 
- Her lack of need of me
- Her need of me
- Her mental toughness 
- Her singing to the kids
- Her apologies 
- Her hesitancy to use bad words
- Her lack of remembering
- Her pride in seeing the kids
- Her prayers for the future 
- Her job
- Her lack of finding a trash can
- Her finishing attitude
- Her resolve to never quit 
- Her belief in me
- Her healthy fears
- Her need for speed
- Her willingness to follow 
- Her strong shoulders
- Her physical toughness
- Her confidence she gives me
- Her courage when she has to
- Her Love 

#HappyAnniversary

To React or to Respond... That is the question

My wife is not only an accomplished volleyball player but she played and coached Division 1 (Go Golden Hurricane) for many years.  Knowing this about my wife is one thing, but finding out in-person is another.  One day several years ago I made the mistake to go "play" some volleyball with her and a group of old players.  I was not too concerned upon arrival knowing I myself was a college athlete and had picked up a few things from watching friends compete in volleyball at school.  Don't get too ahead of me here!!!  It only took two solid "blocks" with my face before I really wanted to know the difference in what my wife was shouting: "You have to respond Jeff... You keep reacting!"  

To me, the average guy, I saw the hitter go up and I embraced for impact... At best I kept my eyes open and once the ball was hit tried to move my arms high enough to return the hit.  This however, is Not responding but only reacting.  What Courtney was trying to tell me was you have to read what they are wanting to do and adjust accordingly.  From years of preparation and practice she was able to determine not just who was going to hit the ball but where it would be hit once it came off the hitters hand!  She took into consideration: who was on the court, how many blockers were at the net, which way her hips were facing, what she had done several plays earlier, etc.  And so in responding she was able to "dig" or return virtually every hit by our opponents... As long as I got my face out of the way!! 

In parenting I see a perfect parallel for us think on...  

Let me paint a quick picture for you:  It's 12:27am and you've called and texted a half a dozen times but have heard nothing.  You have your spouse call your phone to make sure it is working properly.  You check the news to see if there was any big accidents and are just getting ready to text their best friend when... "I'm so sorry!!  I didn't see that you called until just now when I was walking in!!  Can I just have a second, okay third, chance"

How many times have you had this conversation?  Are you being that strict!?  All you are asking for is a simple phone call or even text if you're going to be running late, is that too much to ask!?  What if...

Do you React or Respond?

Are you prepared to respond?  I bet when you think about it you can see some common behaviors that have surfaced.  I bet you can probably guess that at some point the boundaries will be tested (and probably already have).  I bet you can even predict that some choices change depending on who they are with and what they went out to do.

"Reacting is based on emotion, which we all know is rampant when dealing with a teenager.  

We Respond to the situation when we step back from the emotion and take a moment to think through what is really going on.  It’s not easy!  Parents, the secret is out. The map to your “buttons” has been published, and your teen will push them…Repeatedly!!  But we do our own share of pushing, don’t we?  You know what makes your teenager crazy and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels really good to give them a good share of their own medicine.  At least for a moment, until we realize we have done exactly what we are trying to teach them NOT to do!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

Three quick things to consider when rewiring ourselves to Respond:

• Discipline is about Training not about Punishment... It's not just to remember the ouch but the why.  Know why you said no. If it doesn’t make sense, have the courage to retract it.  Second chances are always necessary when it comes to our teens.  Grace always gives a redo. Give yourself grace too.
• Breathing… it gives you a moment to lower your blood pressure.  The part of our teen’s brain that controls reasoning is still underdeveloped at this point.  They use a different part of the brain geared towards instinctual decisions or risk taking.  Peer pressure is a large influence in our teen’s decisions.  At this point of our teen’s development, they are trying to become independent of us.
• Develop Contracts for the major occasions (Cell Phone, Driving, etc.)  Clearly communicate the expectations and consequences, as well as, the desires of both the parent and the teenager.  Make a plan for when trust is broken, so that it can be restored allowing the relationship between parent and teenager to grow.  Agree together ahead of time how to handle the unexpected events. 

"Your teen’s personality can play a large part of how they respond to certain situations. Some are sensitive and appear not to react outwardly.  But that doesn’t mean a thing. Inwardly they could be screaming at you.  Some teens are passionately vocal.  They are very certain you know exactly how they feel.  They all deserve our respect and guidance.  Reacting is easy, responding isn’t.  Responding shows your teen that you love them enough to stop for a moment and make sure what you are saying or doing is based on truth and not emotion.  Reacting can be a really selfish act.  We want to get our point across at all costs.  Sometimes the cost is just a little too high.  It can cost the trust our teens have in us.  Can your teen trust that you will respond and not react to any given situation.  Have the courage to ask your teen if you respond or react and then give them permission to tell you how they wish you would handle these situations.  It takes a brave and humble parent to realize that before we can teach our teens this concept maybe we should learn it for ourselves!" (by ParentMinistry.net)

For some of us resolving conflict in a healthy way is difficult because of our own baggage growing up.  Perhaps you were raised in a home that had a “take no prisoners” mentality when it came to conflict.  Win at all costs was the name of the game.  You learned early on that your job was to watch your own back, defend yourself, and never back down... But if you are willing to develop new habits and value loving more than being declared right, then your whole family wins!!

**If you are interested in my personal three-hour training of the '10 Things YOU Should Know About Teens & Tweens' please e-mail me for a FREE copy of the manuel and video link!!

**Follow Jeff, also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram